Remembering 2006

At this time of year, I shred my financial files from 8 years ago, since (I believe) legally I’m no longer required to keep them. In the process I often gain some interesting insights into what was going on in my life at that point.

This year I thought that I’d like to share with you the highlights of what I discovered. And I discovered it was a very busy year – lots of travel, and it was the year I purchased “my own room”.

A Busy Travel Year

  • This was my busiest travel year ever! I think I calculated that I was “on the road” for 50% of the time from May through December. I got a lot of coverage from a CAA Annual Travel Plan that I purchased in December of 2005.
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  • Could it be possible that John and I travelled to Vancouver Island to see his daughter Leslie and her children, and his long-time dear friends Lynn and Maria Curtis three times this year?
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    We were there around Christmas 2005-2006 because I had my NVC certification “exam” day on Bainbridge Island, Washington on about January 3rd, and I see a Sudafed receipt from February 22, which implies that we were there for the girls’ birthday, and I see a receipt for water at the Calgary airport on December 28 – which was usually our stopover point on the way to Vancouver Island.
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  • In early May I purchased a ticket and took the train to Montreal from Friday June 9 to Tuesday June 13 to meet with an NVC colleague Melanie Whitham, who had some tapes of an NVC school that we intended to review and collaborate on organizing together. It still seems extraordinary to me that, because of our shared valuing of NVC, I felt completely comfortable travelling to stay out in the country for a weekend with someone I had never met in person before. I also had the delightful fun of surprising another NVC colleague, trainer Gina Cenciose, when I showed up for a Choromondo concert she and my hostess were performing in that weekend. 🙂.
  • Also in May we were with dear friends Cynthia Moe and Mark Feinknopf at a project that Mark had helped to create – The Wilds in Cumberland Ohio. And then we travelled on to Atlanta, Georgia to stay with Mark and Cynthia in early June and attend our first full training in Sociocracy with John Buck, the first English-speaking person to be certified as a trainer and consultant in this work.
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    We had been introduced to this body of work at an NVC Leaderful Gathering in March of that year by Mitch Henrion. Henry Wai also had a hand in our attending this event, as one of the 4 original co-organizers of the event.
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    I was very inspired by what Mitch shared in helping the group reach a decision remarkably quickly and easily using sociocratic principles. I would have liked to participate in the gathering of people interested in sociocracy on the Sunday of the event, but John and I needed to leave early to attend the memorial service for a very dear friend of his, John Musgrave, who had died earlier in the year. One of the last things he drew and wrote was an expression of appreciation to John (Stevens).
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    I followed up with Mitch later, asking how I could support this body of work in being more widely shared. She said they needed a handbook which I drafted, and was revised by her and John Buck.
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    Then I independently decided that there was  a need for a one-page reminder “cheat sheet” of the steps in the various processes, for which I developed the original version, edited and enhanced by Mitch and John. So if you ever see a flow-chart-ish one-pager of this work, it is likely a great-grandchild of that original work.
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    As a result of my contributions, when I met John Buck in person in Atlanta in June, he invited me to meet with the group that was gathering to continue to formalize an organization for the sharing of this work, which would be meeting after a more advanced Sociocracy training in July in Washington, to see if there was consent to my working with them.
  • Also during our time in Atlanta we got the wonderful opportunity to visit John’s nephew Hugh Acheson and his family, and have a meal at Hugh’s restaurant in Athens, Georgia – The 5 and 10. Hugh has won many awards as a chef, and has opened multiple additional restaurants since that time. It is always so inspiring to me to meet people who have known what they wanted to work at from an early age – as someone for whom that has not been true. 🙂
  • In June there are Expedia and Air Canada charges. I think these were from my trip to Washington to attend my second Sociocracy training (at that time there were only two levels offered in North America), and the meeting that John Buck had invited me to.
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    By the time July rolled around, John had decided that he wanted to attend the Washington training also, but he wanted to drive, as a new grandchild was due to be born shortly in New York, so he wanted to be able to easily and quickly travel there to greet Zoe (as it turned out). So he dropped me off at the airport to fly to Washington, while he drove.
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    And he almost got there before I did, due to an equipment malfunction on the plane I was due to take, which delayed our leaving for several hours – during which I criticized myself for not simply staying in the car and driving down with John. But while I was at the airport I was also helping to facilitate a telephone training course in Sociocracy from a payphone at the gate! 🙂.
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  • I was accepted to be a member of the sociocratic consulting group as Training Director. And in early September I travelled to Santa Barbara to be the solo trainer for the first weekend of a training in NVC and Sociocracy for the local NVC community, John Buck having accidentally double-booked himself for that weekend along with the annual meeting of Sociocratic Consultants in the Netherlands. I helped him co-lead the second weekend.
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    During this time I was greeted and hosted most graciously by Kathy Aichner, who I had met when she was assisting at an NVC Training Institute training event that John and I attended as participants in ?New Mexico? probably in 2004. Kathy, alas, has since died – and I still treasure the deliberately crooked photograph she took of me with my feet in the Pacific Ocean – the first place she took us after picking me up at the airport. Her positive, upbeat spirit remains with me today.
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  • In the gap between the weekends, I had the exquisite opportunity to take an Amtrak train ($20 US from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles) to spend the week with my dear Co-Active Leadership Program colleague and friend, Julie Ann Matheson, her husband and their delightful cat and dog. Cat Kiki Wu is black and so helped me to feel less homesick for my beloved cat Midnight.
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  • On this trip I also got the opportunity to do a short training for the staff of the international Center for Nonviolent Communication, which was then in La Crescenta, California. And, as I can tell from my Mastercard bill, I couldn’t resist picking up some additional books and teaching materials while I was there! 🙂
  • It was in early October and early November that I had the opportunity to offer two NVC trainings in Ottawa at the exceptional chiropractic clinic Back to Health, run by Dr. Barbara Rodwin. It was an honour to work with such a special group of people. The first time I travelled solo and Dr. Rodwin and her partner graciously invited me to stay at their home. John was able to accompany me on the second trip, during which we stayed at the home of his long-time friends, Will and Joelle Hallam – a very warm and special couple, and their daughter Zoe. And it appears that John and I also took the opportunity to visit the National Gallery – something we generally try to do when we are there.
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  • And I was in Denver later in November that month – including the 17th – for a meeting of the group of 5 people who were working together at that point to share a blend of NVC and Sociocracy (an organizational structure and process system out of the Netherlands).
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    It was on this trip that I experienced altitude sickness on the way from Denver to Aspen, probably as a result of a too-strenous walk early in my visit with a Colorado native. I was fortunate to be in the presence of others who recognized my condition, and supported me in not taxing my system further. I recall lying on a couch while facilitating the final day of our time there together 🙂
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    It was also at the end of this trip that I learned that passports needed to be valid 6 months past the scheduled return date of trips to other countries – and mine was due to expire at the end of December, which meant I had to scramble to get it replaced before my scheduled trip to Scotland in early December, to co-lead an NVC and Sociocracy training at Findhorn. (Yes, there’s the charge – on November 23, at the Passport Office in North York.)
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  • I had not heard about Findhorn before that, and I remember getting off a phone conversation and saying to John, “It looks like I might get a chance to help offer a training at a place called Findhorn – have you ever heard of that?”
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    John had, and was very excited about the prospect of our going there together, which we did get the opportunity to do, thanks to Ray Taylor and the NVC UK Network.
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    It was a truly magical experience. We had the opportunity to meet many wonderful people, and I loved their enthusiasm for what we shared, as well as the quality of connection among them. John and I stayed with a warm and wise retired Waldorf teacher  in an exquisite house made out of an old whiskey barrel.
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    Three of these houses were on the Findhorn property, and apparently this was the final of the three. It was like a shell inside, with a spiral staircase from our room at the bottom, up to the front door, then the bathroom, kitchen / sitting area, to our hostess’ bedroom at the top. Apparently the woodwork and fittings had been done by someone who builds harpsichords – and it was all exquisitely done.
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  • I see a receipt here from Mountain Equipment Co-op, where we bought rainproof but breathable jackets for the trip, and I bought some silk long underwear and wool socks to ensure I stayed warm enough, as well as some Christmas gifts that year.

My Own Room

  • In February of this year, my ex-husband Sandor Mathe and I sold the house we bought together in 1987. I see the charges from the Regal Design Centre for beautiful yellow kitchen tiles that replaced the cracked and broken ones we had lived with for many years.
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  • Once the house was sold, I finally heard John’s requests that I get an independent working space of my own. We had been living and working 24/7 in his one-room loft space, and it had been challenging at times. If either of us had an in-person client, we made arrangements for the other person to leave the space.
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    And I have the disadvantage of having a lot of difficulty dealing with two different sets of talking going on in the same space. John had been generous in taking many of his calls out in the hall when I was on the phone with a client, but it was not something he wanted to be doing permanently.
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  • So I began considering options. One challenge was that I have never worked a traditional 9 to 5 work schedule. I have always loved what I do, and I tend to do it for quite long hours. So it was important that my work space be very comfortable and “homey” as well as business-like. And I was concerned that any significant commute would have a severe impact on the amount of time that John and I would spend together, and thus on our relationship itself.
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  • We found out through the local grapevine that the original developer of the condo building where John lives (which was originally a Wrigley’s gum factory) had one unit which they had not sold; they were currently renting it.
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    After investigating various other options (including whether there were there any units in the building in which I could rent space for an office? the answer was no – and looking at other rental and condo units in the area), I spoke to the developer.
  • I see the charge to Haverkate and Associates who checked the unit for mould in May before I purchased it, a check that was recommended by our then-neighbour on the 4th floor, architect Joe Lobko. In addition to doing lots of high-tech tests, and using the first tablet PC I had ever seen, Haverkate and Associates also used a mould-sniffing dog, Quincy. It was a delightful treat to watch her in action!
  • With an “all-clear” from Haverkate and Associates, I agreed to purchase the unit, with a closing date of Nov 6. The developer’s amazing crew of people painted the whole unit sunny yellow, and installed a beautiful white bathroom. Fortunately the other walls and doors were exactly where I wanted them.
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    I had such fun choosing the sink, tub, fixtures, and tiles! The bathroom tap had to be quite high in order to fill my Brita water containers. And, for various technical reasons, the bathtub had to be installed up two steps from the floor. I felt like a princess the first time I took a bath! 🙂
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  • I also see a large charge from Ikea, which provided much of the furniture for my unit, from the lovely turquoise rugs and cushions, to the 10 wardrobe units that I use for storage of everything from books to coats to mops and brooms. They also provided the tables that I work and eat at during my working day, and rolling file units that I also use as end tables, as well as my coffee table.
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    I appreciate the light colour of the wood that, along with the sunny yellow walls and ceiling, makes my basement bright and spacious. And I appreciate the simple “same-ness” of all the items that makes the space seem visual peaceful to me.
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  • I see that on day the deal closed (Nov 6, 2006), to celebrate, I treated John and I to supper at Jasmine Rice Restaurant on the Danforth about 7 pm that night.
  • The first cheque I wrote for common fees for my condo unit was dated Dec 1 for $419.08
  • The first entertaining I did in the unit was that Christmas time, when I had my local family – Mom and Dad, sister Ruth, her husband Craig, and their two children Thomas and Melanie over for hot chocolate and cookies. We talked and sang Christmas carols together. It remains one of my very fondest Christmas memories!

Other Highlights from the Money File

  • In June of 2006, three NVC friends came to Toronto and we all took a “Millionaire Mind” course together. I find the story of how it came about quite fascinating!
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    In 2005 a number of us had taken a “money consciousness” course with a fellow NVCer Carol (her last name escapes me at the moment, although she attended the same International Intensive Training as we did in June-July 2003). Several of us participants continued to meet by phone after the course was over.
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    In November 2005, when John and I were in New York to celebrate John’s son Luke’s birthday, on a visit to the Strand bookstore, I discovered a set of CDs entitled “The Millionaire Mind”. I listened to them in the car on the way back, and shared my discovery with this group when I got back.
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    Early in the new year, one of our number, an NVC trainer named Hannah Savanna from Finland, found out that there was going to be a Millionaire Mind training event in Toronto near the end of June – free to those who purchased a copy of the book or CDs – and she proposed that we attend. Four of us did – Hanna and her cousin who flew in with her, and Kay Schwarzrock, who remains a long-time friend. I still treasure both the memories of that time and a little giraffe that was one of the gifts that Hanna so generously brought, along with some chocolate – if memory serves me correctly! 🙂
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  • I am also delighted to find the receipt from The Container Store which shipped me 8 additional small clear totes that continue to be my favourite purses to this day. It’s so easy to find things in them!
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    One of John’s son’s in law, Brendan, has commented on my and their “transparency”.
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    My favourite story about these bags was when I was supporting a client at an event at a court house. We all had to go through the metal detecting device, and hand over our purses for inspection. Many of the women had large, complex Coach handbags which the guards went through carefully. When the security guard saw mine, he simply held it aloft and flipped it from side to side and said something like “Well that’s pretty clear.” and handed it back to me.
  • I see a charge from Northern Light Technologies of St. Laurent Quebec. They sell wonderful “winter lights” to help with seasonal affective disorder – my doctor recommended them to me. I think this must be for the “baseball cap” version, since I know I had my first desk-style lamp from them back before 2003. I’m grateful that the baseball cap is still working – although I haven’t used it much yet this winter.
  • It was also in 2006 that I bought several books that I have given to my father as presents – “Then Sings My Soul” – two volumes of hymns accompanied by the stories of how and by whom they were written , and “To Engineer is Human” (one of the professions my father was interested in was engineering – a profession that my brother David pursues), and “The Evolution of Useful Things”.
  • In early October, I purchased my second Toshiba laptop (I bought my first in May or June of 2003 – which was a wonderful support in helping prevent computer withdrawal during our frequent weekend trips up to his family cottage.) Both of these served me well. It was only when I purchased an HP computer in October 2009, which I experienced many problems with in the first six weeks of it’s life, that eventually led me to converting to the Mac world in March of 2010 – a decision that continues to delight me.
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  • I see a cheque written to Peter Jacobs, which reminds me of the very special work I did with Peter and Alan Sheets and Barbara Tovey and the work they call  New Equations. I am very grateful for the ongoing support it has offered me in my life. You can read more about it at newequations.com

Entertainment

  • In early May I bought my first iPod – having been inspired by a participant at one of our workshops, who described how all the songs were stored there once, but you could have as many of these things called Playlists as you wanted, that would “point” to and play various songs in order. The part of me that had delighted in learning about pointers in my database course at Ryerson while I was working for IBM was delighted by this idea also. It is amazing to me that that device stored 30 GB of data!
  • I participated in Country Line Dancing in 3 terms this year as part of a City of Toronto Community Centre course – with a wonderful teacher by the name of Wayne Kralik (I’m not sure I spelled that correctly) who, interestingly enough, comes from Oxford, Nova Scotia, very near Pugwash, where my father was born and grew up.
  • I was still getting prints of photographs in 2006, but also getting a CD with digital copies of the prints as well. I bought processing paid film, which spread out the costs over time.
  • Our local eatery choices included the magnificent Barrio Lounge, run by one of the most outstanding restauranteurs I have ever seen (Barrio, alas is no longer running), and Celline Garden, still a local favourite Chinese – Canadian food restaurant. We treasure Shelley and Jean, our two favourite wait staff there. They know that I like hot water (no matter what the season), and John a dark beer when one is available; that I like my salt pan-fried shrimp not spicy, while John likes his spicy.
  • Further afield for dining, the wonderful Japanese restaurant Mika were still in operation in this year. I was introduced to Mika by Donna Baba, an exceptional woman with whom I had the privilege of working both at IBM (1985-1988) and at the firm she founded with another former IBMer, John Bell – The Usability Group (1988-1992).
  • In January of this year, I purchased two DVD sets of BBC television programs – “Bless Me Father” about a delightfully grumpy Irish priest and his innocent young curate, and “Rumpole of the Bailey”. Both are series I continue to enjoy to this date, especially Rumpole – Leo McKern portrayed that role so brilliantly!
  • And our Jumbo Video receipts indicate that this was the year we discovered “House”, we watched CSI and Star Trek,  Mother Theresa, and the UK version of The Office, A Touch of Frost, Dangerous Minds (an inspiring story about a teacher), Monk (about an obsessive compulsive solver of mysteries), purchased the delightful French Canadian film “Seducing Doctor Lewis” (the cricket scene is my favourite!), and Notting Hill (I really enjoy both Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in this, as well as all of Hugh’s friends), The Goodbye Girl (an old favourite of mine – I adore ), West Side Story, and the Pink Panther Strikes.
  • It looks like my sister Ruth and I did our annual trip to the One-of-a-Kind Craft Show on November 23 this year, because I see the charge from Vincent Van Dough, where we each used to get annual Christmas ornaments – Ruth for family, and me often for my “work family”.

Other Highlights from the Money File

  • In June of 2006, three NVC friends came to Toronto and we all took a “Millionaire Mind” course together. I find the story of how it came about quite fascinating!
    .
    In the fall of 2005 a number of us had taken a “money consciousness” course with a fellow NVCer Carol (her last name escapes me at the moment, although she attended the same International Intensive Training as we did in June-July 2003). Several of us participants continued to meet by phone after the course was over.
    .
    In November 2005, when John and I were in New York to celebrate John’s son Luke’s birthday, on a visit to the Strand bookstore, I discovered a set of CDs entitled “The Millionaire Mind”. I listened to them in the car on the way back, and shared my discovery with this group when I got back.
    .
    Early in the new year, one of our number, an NVC trainer named Hannah Savanna from Finland, found out that there was going to be a Millionaire Mind training event in Toronto near the end of June – free to those who purchased a copy of the book or CDs – and she proposed that we attend. Four of us did – Hanna and her cousin who flew in with her, and Kay Schwarzrock, who remains a long-time friend. I still treasure both the memories of that time and a little giraffe that was one of the gifts that Hanna so generously brought, along with some chocolate – if memory serves me correctly! 🙂
  • I am also delighted to find the receipt from The Container Store which shipped me 8 additional small clear totes that continue to be my favourite purses to this day. It’s so easy to find things in them!
    .
    One of John’s son’s in law, Brendan, has commented on my and their “transparency”.
    .
    My favourite story about these bags was when I was supporting a client at an event at a court house. We all had to go through the metal detecting device, and hand over our purses for inspection. Many of the women had large, complex Coach handbags which the guards went through carefully. When the security guard saw mine, he simply held it aloft and flipped it from side to side and said something like “Well that’s pretty clear.” and handed it back to me.
  • I see a charge from Northern Light Technologies of St. Laurent Quebec. They sell wonderful “winter lights” to help with seasonal affective disorder – my doctor recommended them to me. I think this must be for the “baseball cap” version, since I know I had my first desk-style lamp from them back before 2003. I’m grateful that the baseball cap is still working – although I haven’t used it much yet this winter.
  • It was also in 2006 that I bought several books that I have given to my father as presents – “Then Sings My Soul” – two volumes of hymns accompanied by the stories of how and by whom they were written , and “To Engineer is Human” (one of the professions my father was interested in was engineering – a profession that my brother David pursues), and “The Evolution of Useful Things”.
  • In early October, I purchased my second Toshiba laptop (I bought my first in May or June of 2003 – which was a wonderful support in helping prevent computer withdrawal during our frequent weekend trips up to his family cottage.) Both of these served me well. It was only when I purchased an HP computer in October 2009, which I experienced many problems with in the first six weeks of it’s life, that eventually led me to converting to the Mac world in March of 2010 – a decision that continues to delight me.
    .
  • I see a cheque written to Peter Jacobs, which reminds me of the very special work I did with Peter and Alan Sheets and Barbara Tovey and the work they call  New Equations. I am very grateful for the ongoing support it has offered me in my life. You can read more about it at newequations.com

Daily Life.

  • I was already under the care of my current eye doctor, Dr. Peter Spear, who I visited in August of this year, and purchased new lenses from optician Wendy Lavigne, who Mom and Dad have appreciated for decades, and I feel very fortunate to work with.
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  • I saw my dentist on October 30 that year.
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  • I paid $317.62 toward phone bills in July, August and September at John’s family cottage.
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  • An animal license for my beloved cat Midnight (spayed and microchipped) cost $10 in 2006.
    My beloved Midnight was put to sleep on May 29, 2013. I had known that she was not well for about a year. The vet’s best determination was that she had cancer.
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    My desire was that she enjoy as many days of her life as possible, and I believe we came close to achieving that. I am very grateful for all the joy she brought to my life in the 9 1/2 years she was with me. (But no, I won’t be getting another cat soon – it is not practical at this time.)
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  • I paid $502.97 in GST to the Receiver General of Canada in this year for training work done in 2005.

NVC Training and Professional Development

  • This was the one time so far that I offered an Empathy Buddy course (in May of this year). I remember facilitating one call sitting in Mark and Cynthia’s car in Atlanta, Georgia. Ah, the wonders of connectivity we have access to!
  • A receipt for my coaching session with Bridget Belgrave in April 2006, when $40 British pounds was equal to $83.30 Canadian dollars.
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    I had the delightful opportunity to meet Bridget in person and attend a weekend training session she offered here in Toronto, thanks to my fellow NVC trainer colleague, Henry Wai, who had studied with Bridget when he lived with his wife for several years in England.
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    I still have the drawings I did in pastel during this workshop – almost the only meaningful art that I have done in my life, thanks to the inspiration of that event.
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  • A PayPal receipt, also from April, from an NVC Mediation Course I took by phone with Ike Lasater – a long-time NVC practitioner who was also trained as a lawyer.
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    We had the delightful privilege to meet Ike and his wife Judith at the 10-day International Intensive Training I attended with John in June-July 2003 in Rochester, NY – thanks to the wonderful organizing skills of Kit Miller.
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    There I had the opportunity to study with the originator of NVC, Marshall Rosenberg, as well as with Robert Gonzales, Rita Herzog, Miki Kashtan, and Duke Duchscherer. This opportunity was thanks to the investigative and financial support of my then-very-new life partner John Stevens, who I introduced to NVC in February of that year.
  • I continued to take training and coaching support from those with more experience – I see cheques to John for US money orders to both Robert Gonzales and Duke Duchscherer.

I enjoyed that! I know that there are likely other significant events that happened in this year – for example, most of my connections with my family and with John’s do not involve financial receipts! And I’m amazed at how much of my life does leave a trail of breadcrumbs through my financial files.

I hope that you have enjoyed a sense of connection with me as you read this. And, assuming that you are reading it because we are friends, I hope that we will connect again soon.

Warmly,
🙂
Glenda

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