(Time to read: ~6 minutes) Sunday, Dec 26, 2010
I have noticed that each time I start to write one of these letters, my attention goes to the things that were new or different about the past year. This year I’ve decided to start with the “constants” in my life – the things that are easy to take for granted and yet which form the foundation for all the rest.
The Constants
These are listed in more or less the order in which they first appeared in my life.
My Mom and Dad, Sara and Glen Mattinson
I am deeply grateful for their constant love and care. I also appreciate their modelling of what matters most – connection to life / God, and contribution to the well-being of others. They are an amazing couple and they continue to inspire me.
I’m also grateful for the gift of story that they bring into my life. My dad’s reading of the “Just So Stories” and his annual telling of the story of “the day that Glenda came to live with us” on my birthday. My Mom’s reading onto tape and now onto the computer so many of my favourite books. I love that I can fall asleep to her reading one of Lucy Maud Montgomery’s “Anne” books, and do my stretches to one of Emma Lathen’s John Putnum Thatcher mysteries, with their sly humour. Thank you both so much!
My brother David
Even though I don’t connect with David often, he forms a part of the foundation of my life. I am very proud of his intelligence and of his deep commitment to things being the best they can be – whether computer code, or the way a team or organization functions. I share this passion.
My sister Ruth, her husband Craig, and their children Thomas and Melanie
I’m very grateful for the warmth of my connection with Ruth. I also appreciate Craig’s energy and ability to do so many things, Thomas’ interest in electronics and his ability to focus deeply, and Melanie’s artistic ability and lively energy.
The beauty of the natural world & ability to walk in it
Even though I live most of the time in a large city, I am grateful for the trees that I see daily, for the plants and flowers that are visible much of the year, for the constant changing beauty of the sky, and especially for the opportunity to walk by the waters of Lake Ontario most days.
The practices of Nonviolent Communication as articulated by Marshall Rosenberg
and his students – especially Robert Gonzales, Bridget Belgrave, Inbal & Miki Kashtan, and Dominic Barter – and the students who have given me the opportunity to share NVC with them
I’m very grateful for the increased capacity that these practices have given me to connect with myself and others in more satisfying and compassionate ways – even if I do not always choose to use these practices as often as I would like to.
Since the day I first read Marshall’s book, my life has been devoted to trying to live and share this work so that other people may experience the benefits I have from it.
John Stevens, my life partner
I think I can best sum up the gift that John has been to my life by a comment I made to him at the end of the story-telling workshop at which we met: “I like your energy.”
I did then, and I continue to do so. As my mother commented about me a few years after John and I got together, “You see less angry and more happy.”
Among the many things I appreciate about John are his sense of humour; his musical ability as expressed in his singing and dancing; his ability to empathize; his skill and patience with technology; his ability to make things happen; and the care he demonstrates for others in so many practical ways. I’m also very grateful that we share a commitment to the practices of NVC.
The warm acceptance of John’s family
Including his mother, his sisters, and his children and their families
All of these people remain close to Nancy, who was John’s wife and partner for 30 years, and is the mother of their five children. So I very much appreciate that they, as well as Nancy herself, have accepted my coming into John’s life and have extended such warmth and welcome to me.
My cat Midnight
Purring companion with such soft fur; wise and patient comforter and adviser; determined individualist and occasional escape artist – Midnight is my constant companion in the long hours I spend in my office, where she helps me stay connected to life – including reminding me to eat and take breaks.
My Own Room
For 3 years John and I lived and worked 24/7 in the loft space that his sister Kathy had helped him find in 2002-2003. It was John who strongly encouraged me to find a work space of my own – an idea that I strongly resisted at first, but which has become one of the blessings of my life. Here I meet with clients in person and over the phone, hold workshops, and do my writing and recording.
I am sure I have overlooked other important “constants” – and I am deeply grateful for these ones that stood out for me as I started to write this letter.
Focuses this Year
These are listed in roughly the order in which they appeared on the scene.
Music: Tanglefoot
John and I were first introduced to this group by his sister Kathy and her husband Paul, who took us to a concert at Hugh’s Room in 2003. In late 2009, we were reconnected to them by my parents, who mentioned that the group was coming to Peterborough as part of their farewell tour. I am so happy that we got to see them again, and their music (and their DVD) has formed a part of the backdrop of my life in 2010.
Music: Concert for George
This concert celebrates the life and music of George Harrison. It was performed by many of his long-time friends on the first anniversary of his death. For me, there is a very special spirit that animates the music, the performers and the performances that I treasure each time I watch or listen to any of the pieces.
Apple & Going Electronic
After 25 years as a PC user, I finally “made the ultimate upgrade – to a Mac” and I’ve been very happy with the experience.
At the same time, I found myself needing a new approach to an old problem.
One of the principles I use in organizing my physical environment is to assign a limited amount of space for different types of objects (e.g., books, or journals) and, when the space becomes full, to get rid of items in that category until only the most important ones are left.
This year I found myself running out of space in three of my most important cupboards – my journals, my non-fiction books, and my stories on tape. But I didn’t want to let go of any of the items! It was time for a new paradigm.
And so I began experimenting with ebooks (using a Kindle), an iPad (in place of a hardcopy journal), an iPod Touch (in place of my old Walkman), and eventually an iPhone. I have created a blog to share more about my electronic experiences but there’s nothing there yet.
Days Off
For most of my life I’ve worked 7 days a week. In 2007, I began trying to take one day a week “off”, without much success. In 2008, I got clear about three things. First, I wanted to “be” in beautiful spaces. Second, I wanted more time for reflection. Third, that I needed more sleep.
And so began my “day off” tradition, which I have honoured very consistently since then. My first day off was spent at the Toronto Eaton Centre, a space that for me is cathedral like in the height of its domed roof. I also love the natural light that flows through its glass ceiling. And the fact that there is an outdoor labyrinth
In 2009 I had my first true vacation since the second week of my honeymoon in 1987. I thought I had thus mastered the skill of vacationing – but my experiences in the summer of 2010 and this Christmas week have made it clear to me that I have more to learn.
Wishes for the Coming Year
The following are my wishes for the coming year.
That you may have your most satisfying and fulfilling year yet!
That I may connect with people who are looking for what I have to give
I feel incredibly blessed to have had the learning opportunities I have – especially in coaching and Nonviolent Communication. I would like to share the gifts of these practices with others who are hungry for greater peace, power and connection in their lives.
If you believe that this description might apply to you or someone you know, will you let me know? You (or they) can either call me at 416-465-9240 or send me an email.
Would you like more information to help you decide?
Individual support is described on www.talk-it-thru.com
Group trainings are described on www.talk-it-thru.com/groups
And I look forward to posting more written and video articles here at www.glendamattinson.com
Warmly, with care and best wishes,
🙂
Glenda
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