(Time to read: ~3 minutes)
I’ve just started taking an Inner Relationship Focusing course, and I had my first practice session this afternoon.
I first learned about this body-led practice over 20 years ago, by reading Eugene Gendlin’s book “Focusing”. I immediately felt enormous joy and relief at the encouragement to trust my “body-knowing”, even if my logical mind didn’t necessarily understand it.
One thing I’ve really enjoyed about the focusing-like practice I’ve done for years, is that my body often communicates to me through images / pictures.
Today I was working on a long-standing challenge – making time for all the things that are important to me – and two very vivid images came to me.
The Blue Suitcase
The first was of a blue suitcase – like one from the very first set I ever owned. I think it was given to me by my parents, as a Christmas present perhaps. I was thrilled to have my very own luggage.
And yet, over the years, I noticed how heavy the suitcase was. And because it didn’t have wheels, I had to carry all that weight, in addition to the weight of the contents. It also didn’t seem to have very much space inside.
The Red Suitcase
The next image that came to me was of the first suitcase I bought for myself. It was just before I started a year-long leadership course.
For the first time, I would be travelling by myself, and so would need to be able to manage my luggage on my own – a challenge for me at that time, because of repetitive strain injuries in my hands and arms.
So these suitcases had wheels, which meant that I didn’t have to carry the full weight myself – the wheels would do much of the work.
Also, I chose to take the very smallest one to the first leadership retreat – to help ensure that I would be able to lift it unaided off the baggage carousel at the airport.
It was incredibly tiny and required me to identify only THE most important things to bring with me.
My normal toiletries case would take up 1/3 of the space, so I chose only the most essential items and stored them in a zip-lock bag. A pair of shoes would have taken up 1/4 of the space, so I knew I’d have to get by with just the hiking boots I wore on the plane. My priority was enough clean t-shirts, socks and underwear for each day of the trip, so I don’t remember if I could even fit a second pair of trousers or a second sweatshirt.
As I think of it now, it seems very freeing. To have only what I absolutely needed – nothing extra to lug around or worry about.
Key Messages so Far
Two things stand out for me so far from the focusing session and the images.
The first is to “pack small” – to focus on THE most important things in my life, and leave the rest behind.
The other has to do with the colours of the suitcases. For me, red represents self-care, and blue represents care for others. So the image of the supportive red suitcase is telling me to focus on caring for myself first – to do the things that I most want to do.
In this moment, my body is telling me that this is the way that I will contribute to others most effectively and meaningfully. That the wheeled red suitcase carries the full contents of the blue one – with ease.
In a Redwood Forest
And something in me is bringing me another picture – of standing in a redwood forest, with sunlight streaming through the incredibly tall, straight, and silent trees, as I’m being supported to connect with my gift for the world.
And Alan, pushing on my back, is giving me a very personal message – saying something like “Never help anyone ever again.” By which I’m understanding that, to contribute most fully, I must choose based on what I am called to do from within me, not based on what I believe the people around me need or want.
It is wisdom that has served me well in many areas of my life. It seems like it’s time to bring it more fully into my choices about time.
(For more about Alan, Barbara and New Equations, see www.newequations.com)
(For more about Inner Relationship Focusing, see www.focusingresources.com)
No comments yet.